The human ability to initiate and maintain relationships is a very unique and notable quality in itself. Of all the experiences we need to survive and thrive, it is the experience of relating to others that is the most meaningful. Despite old age, chronic diseases or frailty; the desire for affiliation and social bonding is an intrinsic human need. Our brains are social organs that we are wired to connect with each other and to interact in groups. A life that maximises social interaction and human-to-human contact is good for the brain at every stage, particularly for the ageing brain. People who have more social support tend to have better mental health, cardiovascular health, immunological functioning, and cognitive performance. Those with more social ties tended to live longer regardless of their socioeconomic status.
Social relationships help calm our stress-response system. While chronically high levels of the stress hormone cortisol wreak havoc on our physical and emotional health, experiencing safe and supportive social relationships has the opposite effect, keeping our stress-response system in balance. Those elderly who spend more time cultivating social relationships had a significant drop in cortisol levels during the day, which could explain why positive relationships help us learn better, stay healthier, and live longer.
How we bond and stay attached to others is the core of our resilience, self-esteem, and physical health. Neurological changes in the ageing brain may contribute to emotional regulation and an increased ability to relate compassionately to others. That’s partly because the effects of fear and anxiety on the brain tend to lessen as people grow older, enabling them to see social situations with less defensiveness and more clarity. Since the human brain is almost endlessly adaptive throughout the life cycle, change is as possible for older people as it is for infants.
Much of wisdom is expressed in how people interact with and treat one another. Social relationships and spending time with others help us feel happy and connected. Ensuring interaction with at least one person every day is a healthy practice for healthy relationships. If your friends have moved away or passed on, it is time for new friends. Join clubs with activities that interest you or volunteer where you are likely to meet people who share your interests and values.
When a change occurs as it usually will, you will need a reliable support system. It could be a recent loss or a severe diagnosis. Working through your emotions by talking about them and listening to people who have been through similar experiences is soothing to the soul and will help you deal with most of your insecurities yourself. Healthy relationships have been shown to increase our happiness, improve health and reduce stress. Studies show that people with healthy relationships have more happiness and less stress.
There are basic ways to make relationships healthy. Even though each relationship is different, these tips apply to all kinds of relationships: friendships, work and family relationships, and romantic partnerships.
1. Realistic expectations: No person is fully capable of being everything we might want them to be. Healthy relationships involve accepting people as they are and not trying to change them.
2. Communication: It can’t be said enough what an essential role communication plays in keeping relationships healthy. As such, bare communications do not lead to any solution. Communication involves certain techniques and tactics following which lead to an effective and meaningful conversation.
- Taking the time to be completely present when communication occurs plays a pivotal role in communication.
- Listening plays an equally important role in communication as much as speaking does in effective communication. Do not interrupt or plan what you’re going to say next. Try to fully listen and understand their perspective.
- Asking questions while communicating shows that you are interested in the other person. Ask about their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.
3. Sharing information: Sharing information helps relationships begin. Letting people know about who you are without overwhelming them with too much personal information too soon is another communication technique to be followed.
4. Flexibility: It is natural to feel uneasy about changes. Healthy relationships allow for change and growth. Be flexible about it and take it slow.
5. Credibility: Hold yourself credible for the plans you make with someone, follow through. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Trustworthiness is one of healthy relationship’s sign.
6. Fight fair: Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about something and not necessarily hate each other for not agreeing with each other.
- Calm down before talking: Conversations become more productive if you have it when your emotions have cooled off a little. Refrain from saying something you may regret later.
- Use of “I statements”: Share how you feel and what you want without assigning blame or motives. Put your intentions clear explaining your version of the truth.
- Keep your language clear and specific: Try to factually describe behaviour that you are upset with, avoiding criticism and judgment. Attack the problem, not the person.
- Focus on the current issue: The conversation is likely to get bogged down if you pile on everything that bothers you. Avoid using “always” and “never” language and address one issue at a time.
- Own up your mistakes: Apologize if you have done something wrong; it goes a long way toward setting things right again.
- Recognize some problems are not easily solved: Not all differences or difficulties can be resolved. You are different people, the values, beliefs, habits, and personality you share may not always be in alignment. Communication goes a long way toward helping you understand each other and address concerns, but some things are deeply rooted and may not change significantly. It is important to figure out for yourself what you can accept, or when a relationship is no longer healthy for you.
7. Be affirming: Happy couples have a ratio of 5 positive interactions or feelings for every 1 negative interaction or feeling. Express warmth and affection! Those little acts of care and affection goes a long way in keeping relationships healthy.
8. Keep your life balanced: Other people help make our lives satisfying but they cannot meet every need. Find what interests you and become involved. Healthy relationships have room for outside activities.
9. Understand that a relationship is a process: It might look like everyone on campus is confident and connected, but most people share concerns about fitting in and getting along with others. It takes time to meet people and get to know them. Healthy relationships can be learned and practised, and keep getting better.
10. Be yourself! It’s much easier and more fun to be authentic than to pretend to be something or someone else. Healthy relationships are made of real people communicating and addressing the real issues that bother.