Ageing is a natural process that requires as much care and attention as that of a baby. Old age is a crucial period of life that in itself asks for a lot of care and tenderness. Some elderly are fortunate enough to share their lives with their family members and near and dear ones while others are not. Whatever the scenario, caring for seniors is extremely important, especially when they live away from their families.
For seniors that live around us and close to us, it becomes easier for the caregivers to take care of them, groom and provide the right kind of care. However, seniors who are far away or are separated call for our special attention and support. The professional elderly caregivers, old-age homes, or assisted living homes have been able to share our responsibilities to quite an extent. The question that still prevails is “Are we as a caregiver successful in adopting the right attitude and providing the right kind of care and extending the best help we can, even with the distance?”
Long-distance caregiving
Long-distance caregiving is undoubtedly one of the toughest responsibilities. A sense of guilt and uncertainty clouds our minds. We often wonder whether we, as caregivers, are doing it right. Many of us don’t have a pre-installed caregiver skill. Information about training opportunities is always available. First and foremost, internalize that caregiving for a distant senior is a mentally exhausting task and prepare yourself. It requires a lot of empathy and cooperation from the caregiver. As and when the needs of the care recipients change, so will our role and responsibilities.
- The first and most important service a senior need is a 24/7 health monitor. Make sure you are equipped with all the arrangements for their health care and safety.
- Understanding and anticipation: Figure out all of the things in your vicinity about your family member’s condition and any kind of treatment they require. This helps in a holistic understanding of our elderly’s needs and also anticipates any actions to be taken in case of an outbreak.
- Financial expenses: Sharing a load of financial expenses of the elderly like clearing up bills can be a big relief. Understand that sharing a load of their responsibilities in any way can prove to be beneficial to their overall health as it relieves stress.
- Communicate: While a special detective vigilance is needed when you are not around, do not underestimate the values true and in-depth communication can bring. Ask how you can help them, or if they need a break, and find out what your loved one needs. Create an environment of compassion and let them speak what they desire.
- Work on their hobbies: If they have a special hobby, make sure to give them access to it. If not keep your elderly engaged in one. Research reports numerous benefits from leisure gardening. You can make arrangements for indoor gardening if your loved one cannot access the outdoors.
- Emphasize healthy relationships: There are so many ways that seniors can maintain healthy relationships with their friends and family. Ensure your loved one feels valued as a part of a greater family ecosystem, even when they are living away. Many of the meaningful relationships would make the world of a difference to each member. Make the effort to strengthen your relationship with the elders in your family – their health depends on it.
- Host family time: Whether it is in person, on the phone, or via FaceTime, host a family gathering and stay connected. Then you can work out a plan of action that accommodates a common ground for everyone’s skill sets and schedules. This way, everyone has some agreed-upon responsibilities and knows what to do. Especially for seniors that live away, a designated virtual family time can give them something to look forward to.
- Social life: Elders can still reap the health benefits by strengthening the relationships they have with others who are already in their life or by making new friends. Finding a senior community that provides a variety of social activities can help them live a fuller and happy life as they age. The Club Vintage provides a variety of services for the elderly to stay engaged socially.
- Schedule visits: Staying connected via phone calls or facetime can never overbear in-person visits. Make sure to schedule visits as and when feasible. If you live within a reasonable distance, weekly in-person meetings are a great way to engage your loved one. Else, try spending holidays together and reminding your elderly of the value of family time.
- Quality time: When together, spend quality time with your elderly. It can be simple tasks done together, like going for a drive or to the movies, reading together, playing cards, cooking their favourite dish, or just having a breakfast date together. Quality time encourages meaningful conversation and helps the elderly open up about their needs and worries. It is a great way to improve communication.
- Keep a check on them: Get regular updates from your elderly’s neighbours. And, of course, keep in touch. Phone calls and emails are a simple way to reach out, and they go a long way toward fuelling your relationship.
- Include professionals: A geriatric care manager is a sort of “professional relative” who can help you and your family to identify needs and find ways to meet your needs. These professionals can also help by leading family discussions about sensitive subjects.
- Circulate the information: Keep family and friends updated and informed about your senior’s condition. Do not assume you know it all. Be fluent in the course of action to be undertaken. You can manage it together.
- Emotional support: While it is helpful if you can provide financial resources, emotional support is another form of support that does wonders for an ageing loved one’s health. Having someone to talk to about their life positively affects their sense of contentment and fulfilment. If you live away from your loved ones, professional companions go a long way. The Club Vintage provides professional companionship services to support your loved one’s emotional and cognitive needs.
Caregiver skills
The care recipient’s emotional response to his or her changing circumstances may require a higher level of emotional support from the caregiver. Caregivers may find themselves dealing with unfamiliar depressive symptoms, anxiety, irritability, anger, rage or fury in the care recipient.
However, caregivers cannot escape the fact that it creates a win-win situation. Helping the care recipients often instils confidence in the caregivers, teaches them how to deal with difficult situations, makes them feel closer to the care recipient, and assures them that the care recipient is well-cared for. It is important to note, however, that these positive effects can co-exist with the negative impact of caregiving. Caregivers can simultaneously feel highly distressed and report that they derive benefits from the caregiving experience (Beach et al., 2000). Interacting with their family and being reminded that they are cared about reduces feelings of depression.
Caregivers need specialized knowledge and skills relevant to their particular needs, as well as broadly defined competencies, such as problem-solving and communication skills. Caregiving is a challenging task, nevertheless, we can always keep trying and do what we can in our little ways. It’s ok if you could not do everything. Relax! You did your best. Distance is a challenge when caring for elderly parents. But it can be made more manageable. With some strategic planning and a team effort, you can make sure your loved one is getting the customized assistance they need.
References:
The Importance of Family in a Senior’s Life